Always & Forever,
Calla Henkel and Max Pitegoff

RSVP@SB95.COM






INTERNET ART
"New Media (Cocktails)"






























Hands in wet paint, Joe Kay and Matthew Lutz-Kinoy will hang a dozen photographs by Calla Henkel and Max Pitegoff. The performance will take place after lunch, for an audience of the artists, the gallery, and several friends. Joe Kay will hold the drill between his legs, pencil in mouth, both arms bracing the frame. Matthew Lutz-Kinoy will stand back with hand on hip, the other hand holding a level. Loudly he will say “lower on the right”.








MARTHA GRAHAM'S LAMENTATION,
PERFORMED BY YAEL SALOMONOWITZ, TIMES 2012

In a few hours Dan Bodan would lean his head against the curve of the staircase and cry out to the bar. But for now it was quiet. Two German girls sat in the corner drinking white wine.

The neighbor came in. I was slicing limes. He told me about his daughter and how he had smoked too much weed in Amsterdam. Dan Bodan arrived with a floppy tote bag filled with cords. “Last night was so crazy.” I handed him a beer and he recounted the evening while plugging things in.

Three tall Swedish girls fell through the door. “Where's the bathroom?” The neighbor pointed up the stairs. They ordered whiskey sours. I spooned maraschino cherries into the garnish tray.

Dan Bodan continued, “…and he’s not even her friend, it’s like why was he asked to come to this when she doesn’t even understand what he’s trying to do with the work?” I nodded emptying the ashtray into the trash below the sink.

One of the Swedish girls shouted across the bar, “Where were you when Whitney died?”

Dan picked up the microphone and began to sing, “If I should stay, I would only be in your way, so I’ll go, but I know, I’ll think of you every step of the way...” They applauded and asked, “Do you want shots?” “Not yet,” Dan responded.

More people began to shuffle in; it was getting closer to midnight. Claudia Rech leaned over the bar for a double kiss while ordering a spritz. We talked about summer as I poured Aperol into her glass.

Dan Bodan asked for another beer and Max Simmer mouthed “gin and tonic” while holding up two fingers.

The door swung open and Juliette Bonneviot walked in. In one long breath she bemoaned the trains which “were fucked today, beer please.” Lindsay Lawson slipped behind the bar to adjust the audio for Dan Bodan while I made her a Moscow Mule.

The bar was filling up. Nic Ceccaldi commented on the painting by Petra Cortright above the bar while I poured his red wine. Yael Salomonowitz pushed a twenty into my hands and told me her “day was shit” and she needed vodka.

Dan Bodan hoisted himself on top of the bar and I quickly moved the blue candles. He positioned himself, beer in one hand and microphone in the other. He motioned to me to turn up the mixer.

The set was short, holding the final note of “Swing Low Sweet Chariot” he slid off the bar. He absorbed the end of the applause with his back facing the audience. I got him another beer.

I wiped the top of the bar down and moved the blue candles back. There was a rush to get drinks. Nik Kosmas wanted a whiskey; he waited grinding on the side of the bar. Three Germans ordered vodka sodas. I filled glasses with ice.

Dan Keller leaned over the side of the bar and plugged his iPod into the headphone jack.

Across the room Yael Salomonowitz took her black jacket off and began to twirl it over her head with one hand. “Robbie, get me a drink,” she called.

She was laughing and twirling her jacket sloppily with one hand and digging through her purse with the other. The entire bar was staring. I waited while Timur Si-Qin searched his pockets to show me a photo on his phone.

Yael continued to swing her jacket faster and faster until it knocked her purse off the table, its contents scattering underneath the benches.

Yngve Holen slid three euro across the bar but I was distracted by Yael. She was sitting on the bench, looking down at the floor, shaking her head and clutching her purse. She moved dramatically from side to side staring at the floor, lipstick, wallet, coins. She lifted her left leg up, then her right. “Where are my keys?” she moaned, leaning backwards.

Robert Fitzpatrick shrugged and smiled at Marlie Mul as she descended the steps from the back room. Without leaving his bar stool Dan Bodan asked her where she had been. I listened to Rupert Smyth, Simon Denny and Dan Bodan talk about London while I salted the rim of a Margarita glass.

Yael moved the table first to the left and then the right. She got to her knees and draped herself over the bench looking frantically from side to side.

Britta Thie ordered a coke. It was just past one in the morning and almost time for Dan Bodan’s second set. He finished his beer in one gulp and ordered a Riesling. Pablo Larios leaned on the corner of the bar and asked, “Have you seen Dan Denorch?” I pointed towards the basement.

The street sweepers on the curb were filling the bar with intermittent flashes of bright orange light. Jaime Whipple motioned for a beer as the room turned golden and Oliver Laric and Aleksandra Domanović put their jackets on and said goodnight.

I set a Whiskey Sour on the bar for Martin Thacker while Natascha Goldenberg took a photo of Florian Ludwig and Marlous Borm near the door. The three tall Swedish girls ordered shots of vodka. “Make them big,” one of them said while laughing.

Marlous Borm greeted Mia Goyette. “How was New York?” Across the room Yael lifted the bench she had been sitting on, vertically bracing it with her arms, stretching the long sleeves of her dress.

Yael turned to Robert Fitzpatrick. “Where are my keys, Robbie?” Before he could answer, Dan Bodan began to address the audience. “As always, thank you for coming out this evening—here’s one of my favorites.” The neighbor slipped back into the bar, and mouthed “bier.”

I refilled Dan Bodan’s glass of wine while he was singing. Yael paused with the bench still vertical; she laid it back down quietly and sat looking at the floor gripping her torso. I added more pretzels to the dark blue bowls sitting next to the candles. Skye Chamberlain scooped a handful.

The street sweepers drove past the window again, and the bar was filled with light. Yael’s keys shimmered beneath a stool.











Avery Singer is late for a performance in Greenpoint. She is wearing Versace by H&M. Her phone is already set to vibrate.

Later over schnapps, description of audience descends the gentle slope of gossip.

Avery Singer leaving Manhattan, in six framed c-prints; The Ecotext (a woman's description of her boyfriend's slow collapse into ecological paranoia) scrolling on Calla Henkel’s MacBook Pro, transformer provided by Martin Thacker/Venture Tek Core; documentation from New Outfits, signatures in mud by Grayson Revoir and Rose Marcus.
















I thought we were on the same page until he threw out my tampons -- “they’re filled with chlorine and drenching your uterus with toxins.” I was pissed. “Don’t worry, I got you a Keeper Cup. ”Fuck you” I screamed. “Calm down baby, they can hold up to 30 milliliters of fluid with a life expectancy of ten years, they’ve sold thousands in Europe!”

For the next few weeks he laid low, he knew I was pissed. He stayed on his computer and UPS packages were arriving frequently. I didn’t think anything of it, he stored them in his closet.

Then one night I came home from work and our fridge was gone. “Where the fuck is the fridge” I screamed. “Baby, think about how all we do is refrigerate leftovers until we’re ready to throw them out, it’s useless.” I had given in about the Keeper Cup. He knew that. I was wearing a skirt; I yanked it out and threw it at him. “I want my fucking fridge back.” I slammed the door. He was covered in about 28 milliliters of blood.

When I returned home later that night, he had installed a three tiered shelf made of ‘repurposed’ wood which held eight clay pots. “WHAT?” “Indian earthen pitchers. Wait, baby, just wait, this is what they use in the summer in Bangalore, it keeps water cool naturally.” “WE LIVE IN MANHATTAN, in a fourth floor walk up on Delancey. This is not Bangalore, we live above an Office Max.” “Please baby, give it a week,” he said softly.

The earthen pitchers seemed to work, and by this point we were basically vegans. There wasn’t much that could spoil, it was no longer a performance.

I could live without a lot of things, but I missed the hot bar at Whole Foods. I decided I needed a break from the city and him. I went to visit my parents up state. Over dinner, I told them about the household “improvements.” They thought it was fantastic, I agreed.

When I returned from my weekend away, I opened the door to the apartment and fumbled for the light switch. “SURPRISE,” he shouted from the other room. He ran towards me with a headlamp strapped to his head, and another extended in his hand.

“No, no, no” I groaned. “I did it, I called Con-Ed and I canceled our contract.” “Why the fuck would you do that?” “Because baby, this is all going to happen eventually, the world can’t sustain itself this way, but we’ll be ready. Baby calm down, I just finished installing solar panels on the roof.”

Of course the solar panels didn’t work. I tried to get Con-Ed to reconnect us, but there was a three-month waiting period. “Fucker” I groaned as I hung up the phone. I went to Dunkin Donuts and bought us coffee. He broke down and drank it, but only out of his own clay mug.

Three days after the Dunkin Donuts meltdown he “installed” a rocket stove. A five-gallon Home Depot bucket, a bag of concrete, and two 2-litre bottles of Coca-Cola bought from Rite Aid. It took over a week for the concrete to set. I didn’t even bother asking how he disposed of the old one.

“Baby, it’s called a rocket stove because it’s portable, so if we have to move fast we can.” I had lost about fifteen pounds since our Whole Foods days. I was weak. I said “fuck you” as I put on my headlamp, and went to bed with my book.

He spent the next three weeks building a large capacity food dehydrator. He was consumed by shopping for parts at Bowery restaurant supply stores. I yearned for the salad days of Ecover.

Weeks went by and I thought our boxes at the CSA seemed lighter than usual. He blamed the onset of global warming. His paranoia had become casual, and I was hoping to make a butternut squash soup to store in the refrigerator at work.

It was a few months after the completion of the dehydrator that I was asked to go on a work trip to Miami. I had come home early to pack and was eagerly anticipating two nights in a fully gridded hotel.

My closet seemed tighter packed than I remembered. When I finally found my suitcase it was heavy – and sealed with silver duct tape. I went to the kitchen to get a knife; I sliced open the suitcase and dumped the contents out on the bed: a pile of dehydrated food. There were seven suitcases just like it. “What the fuck.” I dumped them all out, a mound the size of a car. Zucchinis, yams, potatoes, squash, green beans, cabbage, peas, carrots. He had been dehydrating what looked like half of our food for months.

Now empty, I filled the suitcases with all my belongings.















She hasn't gone on yet has she?
   No, there's like five of them and I think she's last, they're each like twenty minutes, with q&a in between.
God
   Lets just come back at the end.
Good, I'm hungry. Should we say bye to Karen?
   We'll see her later.
I don't want to be out here.
   How was your weekend?
Caught up planning the next couple months.
   Rocket Joes?
I hate how they put sesame seeds on the crust
   Vanessa's Dumplings?
Too noodley, I want something solid.
   I'm so tired of painting.
Yeah
   I mean it's good, but draining.
Congee village?
   Which one?
Canal
   Michelle always makes us go there.
I want to leave New York this winter - I need space.
   Yeah
Vietnamese Sandwiches?
   Will is always bringing them to work.
Yeah
   I need to focus on painting.
How about Rays?
   I guess I could have a bagel.
No, lets not settle, were almost 30.
   Are you going over to Melissa's for her dinner thing?
Probably not, she asks too many questions.
   Whole Foods?
Does Ilia still have EBT?
   He moved to California, but you can't get the hot food with it.
Are you still thinking about making sculptures?
   Maybe, I really want to finish these paintings, Mamouns?
No, I'm always eating Chickpea
   Are you going to go to Berlin for New Years?
Not sure yet, I was talking to Marlous about it last week.
   She always makes a good case
I know, and I think it would be good to get out of here.
   Stage?
Chester cooks like a fish that grew to the size of his bowl.
   It'd be good to see Robbie.
Too much work.
   How's the new studio?
Fine, unresolved. So much I want to do, but I need to force myself.
   Yeah, it's hard to get shit done, Moonstruck?
Last resort, I need a deadline.
   How about Oyama?
Too brightly lit.
   What about the group show in February?
I don't know, I need to talk to Dena about it.
   East Village Thai?
Only their lunch special is good.








































2/12/11 8:18

Centered in the frame facing left, her profile stares straight ahead, her expression is blank, her cheek rests on a clenched fist. Brown hair reflects the overhead lighting. Behind her the edge of a silver shape attached to the wall, a clock hidden from view. The walls are yellow, darkening in a gradient from the left side of the image the right.

Bangs hang down parted just above her left eye. Her hair extends in front of her shoulders and out of the frame. The cuff of her black sweater is centered between her neck and back; her wrist extends upwards supporting a watch, which rests a quarter inch above her sleeve.

The watch has a black band, which reflects light on the creases of the leather. The face of the watch is a hexagon 1 inch long and 1/2 inch wide with beveled gold edges.











THE WOBBLY WAITER -- ongoing performance



















Bernie Madoff slowly takes off his shoes:

What began as an ideological dance with the institution and the power of flowing beer eventually stumbled and slipped down the steep slope of capital. We assembled the tools of rebellion: cooler, ice, wood, lock, hinges, beer, tile. We promised a site of public performance: the bar in our studio would be better than the Rose Auditorium. We wanted to exploit public dialogue on the fourth floor with our backs facing the St Mark's Hotel, an invitation to a blurry and never-ending studio visit.

Our dissent takes form in tiled structure and word of mouth, the oral progression of knowledge and ingestion of liquid. The bar opened. But the performances have yet to begin. We just haul ice back and forth, artists-as-barbacks, sans tip jar. Like a cold splash of water the bar has become the bladder of the Cooper Union, a site of public excrement bathed in fluorescent light. We run The Cheapest Bar In Lower Manhattan.

We built our bar as ideologues but debt accrues rapidly: Thomas $1 Clara $4 Skye $12 Mia $1 Georgia $4 Travess $2 Ben $1 Cassandra $2 Matthew $3 Joe $1... Mixing business and pleasure to fund our thirst, we let the mysticism of a drunken business model overtake us. I.O.U.s on an empty stage, like credit default swaps slumped on tile.

Money Never Sleeps but money never dreams. Ours is a site of exchange and resentment. We are not-for-profit, that is the only self-evident truth. But we're covered in filth, mud all over our hands. These are financial times.